Don't you think it is hard for a flower to wilt befor it blooms. .. isn't it sort of pointless? Well anyway, should I explain? Yes I shall and sorry for those reading this I think only Kim will understand this ramblings. So anyway, over the summer I went threw a change of personality. . . well not really it was me just with more confidence. Yeah that is way to discribe it. Well anyway, the reason I was more confident was because I was activly flirting with Monty. He told me I was hot and good looking . . .It is different from when you guys say it. Anyway, yeah so I was more confident and well Kim described me as more woody, more solid. I can't remember how you put it. . . but it deeply touched me because it was a good way of putting it. I did feel good and I was who I was ment to be. I wasn't ment to like Monty, no I was just ment to LOVE on a much deeper level, and that wasn't love just think of what it would feel like to actually LOVE someone. . .anyway, part of me also sort of saw it another way. I wrote a poem about it a few times. Well when a guy walks into my life I sort of see the relationship as a flower. It buds and flowers and grows. . . it shouldn't wilt. That is what love does. It makes the flower last. Well anyway, so the flower wilted when Monty and I parted ways. I was okay with it. The flower that I had with Kurtis was nothing more then a bud, but it also never bloomed and was never going to . . .so I walked away from that one also as you all know. Well anyway, there is another guy now. His name is Alec. But like it is really unnerving. . . I feel like the flower bloomed while it was wilting. . . I don't know. Something about this guy intreges me deeply. . . I HAVE NO CLUE WHY. . . I showed chelsey a picture of him and the first word she said was Drama. . . .that is what I got also when I first saw his picture. And I REALLY hate drama, but something about him really intreges me!!! I have no clue why. . . . really I don't. And I feel like it shouldn't be between us if there ever was, and on the flip side it feels right. I don't know I get polar opposites with him. It is rediculous. We will wait till I can hear his song. I am meeting him on wednesday next week. Woot woot. .. . wish me luck. It is interesting. . . . .
OHH I remember why I wanted to blog in the first place. . . . well he kissed another guy. . .. and am sort of jelous but I shouldn't be because I don't even know him yet. . . . WOW I am really sad. . . woot woot . . . LOVES babes. . . I am in a good mood and I doing really good right now besides this little problem of the heart and figureing out what I do and DON'T want. . . Ideas?
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6 comments:
I say go with the flow and/or give it a shot. You just never know how things will turn out and what you'll learn from it. None of the guys I've dated are anything like each other, but there are things I've learned about people and especially myself from every person I've ever pursued and/or been with. Godspeed my friend.:)
Well, I'm in a scandalous mood now, so I say either use him shamelessly or drop him. But since you are fresh in the way of relationships, I vote for the dropping bit. Sorry, Caitlan. And, haha! You're giving advice to my gay friend about guys! Muwahahaha! This is far too amusing - sorry, B, it just is *grins*. As always, loves to you, kid (and I'm half convinced that if I had you around I wouldn't be in such a twist to find some man meat. Curse you and your desensitizing influence *shakes fist*).
Sorry babe. . . what can I say. I have a stong affect on women. . .sadly they have none on me. . . *sigh*. . . .ohhh well *grin*. . . I am over him. . . yup yup. As of now he would just be a cool guy to know. LOVES!! Thank you both for the insight. . . hahahhaa. . and sorry caitlan. . .it sort of is funny that YOU are giving ME advice on relationships with me being gay and you being MORMON. . . I think you and I are going to get along just fine. . yeyeyeyey
Haha what the crap you guys suck! I was just trying to be a good person. :P
And I think my advice is very good. so there.
Hahaha! These comments rock!
I think Branden is just responding to the fact that I'm the only one of his Mormon friends who doesn't encourage anything. ^_^ I give him advice about himself and the situation, but I always make sure that he knows what I approve and disapprove of. I'm such a nerd. >.< Branden knows perfectly well.
Yeah, I think I described you as wood. It was a good way to describe you, not only because you understand what I mean by that, but because it's solid without being stone. Much more alive.
Plus, wood can burn. ^_~ On with the passion!
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