Walking the Walk

Hey everyone, I am in a very thankful mood right now.

What puts me in that mood should you ask? Let me tell you.

1. I am at my home. I love is here. Even if it is the last time I will more then likely step foot in THIS home, but my home will always be with my family. I am just going to miss it. After all I did sort of grow up in this house.

2. I got my grades in school. I did a lot better then I thought I would. Which I am proud of. It lightens my heart to know that I am doing something with my life. Granted I know that I shouldn't need a few little grades to know that, but sometimes they are a beacon when your mind gets lost.

3. I think I honestly found a good guy. He goes to the University of Puget Sound. Not an easy school to get into. It is in northern Tacoma, so it isn't that far away. He makes trips to Seattle often. Not only that, but like he doesn't drink heavely, and no drugs at all. He isn't all the way out of the closest, but that is okay because he is doing it slowly. And in very much the same manner that I did. But get this, he is actually still a virgin. I know that, you might think that is nothing special, but in the homosexual community, it is a very small minority. As of now I know two of them. Me and him at the age of 19. I don't know, he is just a really good guy. You should read some of the stuff we have talked about. Such as good verses bad. Basically he gives with the hope of someday getting it all back again. Sound familiar? Woot woot, but I am not going to get my hopes up. Because to many times that is my downfall. Right.

Is it just me or does the future look really bright right now or what? Everyone it finding there path. Kim, you have God, I mean I true and honest connection with him. I envy that about you, but I am SO glad that you do. It gives you strength where I know none. Tia, you are finially figureing out what you want to do in life. Nia, she is getting out on her own. Hilde and Mandy, they are already on there way. For a long time I always thought that I was stuck in a rut comparred to all of you. Never really changing, or moving, but I see that isn't true. I have always been growing, shaping who I am today. With the help and love of each and everyone of you out there. It makes me happy to know that I do have a net. I think about all the people out there that have no one to count on when the times get tough, and it hurts. I couldn't funtion without something or someone to catch me if I should fall. And I have before.

I think that is partly why I liked Alec. He needed and needs me. Granted I can only be his friend and at times that is even a bit trying. He has little to no family that actually cares for him, because he is one of those classic gay kids that is rejected by the family. Has no friends, because he pushes them away with his attitude, even I am put off by him sometimes. I don't think I could ever live like that. See what I mean though. So I will be there, because I should and want to. After all even the smallest of candles can light up a dark room.

Lastly I watched the most amazing movie ever. August Rush. Anyone that can appreciat music and life, would love this movie. For me it sort of hit a nerve, a very good nerve. At the end of it. . . . I am pretty sure that my fingernails had goose bumbs. It was such a good movie that I almost crieds because it was so good and it had to end. I really suggest that you watch the movie!!!

Anyway, so that is why I am happy right now. Not estatic, but happy. It is the best feeling right now. I have been putting on a hard shell that is happy, but it doesn't beat with my heart. This one does and I can feel it pluse with it. I just want to share it with everyone. I really do. So here you can have some happy also, *throws arms open for a hug*. . . loves dearhearts. I miss you all like crazy, but we will all be togeather soon!